Yum Yum Give Me Some
(Or My Day At The Library)
Working at the library can be a dirty business. Most people can't believe the things that go on in that building. Case in point...A couple of weekends ago I go out to do the
mid-day room clean up. I see an older man sitting at one of the tables coughing. I look a little closer and think "Hmmm, that guy does not look good." As this is floating through my mind the guy picks up a folded newspaper and pukes into it. Gross! I start walking a little faster trying to get away. Once I get down to the end of the range I realize that all the voices in my head are finally agreeing with each other and yelling at me "That guy just PUKED in the LIBRARY! Do SOMETHING!!!" So flouting library rules, I whip out my cell phone (we are not supposed to have them on or use them in the library) and I call up security. Thankfully my husband is the one who answers the call. He tells me to wait at the librarian's desk and he'll send up a couple of guards. So that gets mopped up, so to speak, and I head out for my break. When I come back upstairs and head out onto the floor I run into J, a patron who has serious stalker potential, and start to tell him the story of the Puking Man. J asks me where this happened and I turn to point out the chair which is I full view of us. "Oh yeah, he was right over there what the hell is that guy doing jacking off in the library?" Yes he was and in the same chair as the Puking Guy. What a place to work!

Warning: CA Content
My apologies to those who may be reading who are not from the beautiful state of California, because this entry is Californiacentric. I am siding with my favorite radio station Pirate Cat Radio
(87.9 FM), which may or may not still be on the air. He dude, I can't get you anymore did the FCC manage to knock you off the air? Anyway, all I have to say is...Vote Fucker!
Get out and vote tomorrow.

Y.M.C.A.
It's been two weeks and I am still sick. I have missed so much work that I am going to get evicted because I have no $. I've taken to hiding in my room to escape my two kids who are bickering over whether one or the other is cheating at some Gundam video game they're playing in the other room. I feel like I'm being run over by a truck, I feel depressed, I feel trapped...but wait, there is a light on the horizon!
Flipping around the TV taking in the banal Sunday afternoon offerings I run into my favorite show. This show changes from time to time but I love it and watch it with gusto. It is the Time Life Music Collection Informercial. The show could be about the "Greatest Modern Soul Classics" or the "Best Love Songs of the 50's". It really doesn't matter I will watch it no matter what they are hawking this week. Today's offering was the best in quite a while...(drumroll please)..."The 70's Music Explosion"! I must own "The 70's Music Explosion" because it has some of the worst music ever created all on 10 discs! How could anyone resist a collection that has such gems as The Streak, Bad Blood, Rhinestone Cowboy, Baby I A Want You, Escape (The Pina Colada Song) and Mr. Bigstuff? This music is LEGENDARY. And those are only the songs on the regular disks, because if you order right now they will include for free a CD with all the best one hit wonders of the 70's. I am enraptured. I'm feeling a little better and dance the Y.M.C.A. as I make my way into the living room and search for my Mac Davis' Greatest Hits CD. Who says the 70's are over? We can relive them again and again and again. Thanks Time Life!

Know What I'm Saying?
So as I'm walking down Telegraph Ave. today, going from my one job to my other job I was eavesdropping on the phone conversation of the guy walking behind me. We'll call him Ali because, well, he said his name was Ali. Ali was having a VERY ANIMATED CONVERSATION about how he and his buddy were going to go clubbing. You know pick up on girls and get drunk the usual. Now I figure you're thinking, So What? Most UC Berkeley students walking around town or campus are blathering on about getting drunk or laid or something stupid. Or, How Could You Say That About Some Of The Cream Of The Crop Of This Country's Young People? I say, these kids are incredibly stupid, don't let the name of the school fool you. Don't believe me? Well it is true, I should know because I had the misfortune of attending UC a few years ago and listening to this sort of drivel first hand. During class! However, this is not what I wanted to write about. Midway through the conversation ALi switches from English to Arabic. I'm not sure if he was on to another call with a different person or what, but suddenly it got really interesting. Well at least to me. His conversation went something like this:
Ali: "Arabic arabic arabic arabic know what I'm saying? Arabic arabic know what I'm saying? Arabic know what I'm saying? Arabic arabic arabic arabic arabic know what I'm saying? Arabic know...Arabicarabicarabicarabicnowatimsain? Arabic ."
I found myself wondering if the person on the other line did know what he was saying, I was wondering what he was saying (since, unfortunately , I don't understand a word of Arabic). I was wondering, isn't there a way to say "know what I'm saying" in Arabic? Do these words not exist in the language? I know that this is not the most interesting thing to write about or talk about or even think about, but hey I was bored. Know what I'm saying?