OK, so I have been assured by some in the blogosphere that I would be brilliant if I started a blog. Well here I am! Apparently I have many a good tale to tell. This could be so, however I am of the opinion that most of my life is completely boring. But since I have the great pleasure to work in close proximity with the public I do have to say that sometimes I see the damnedest things. Let me give you and example...
Imagine little ole' me sitting quietly when my coworker comes up and starts to tell me that some "big hulking guys" (think "Neanderthals") are in my maintenance section and they are throwing books on the ground and making a complete mess of the area. I am dying!
"Jesus Christ Dude! I just cleaned that area. Don't people know how hard it is to keep this place looking good and in order so they can find things?" I whine.
"I am hiding from them because they scare me! I swear they saw me talking to The Librarian and now he is telling them not to mess up the area. I think they might try to beat me up!" coworker says breathlessly.
I start to growl, "I SWEAR that if I catch them in there ripping things up I'm gonna tell them to knock it off! I don't care how big they are man I'm sick of fixing those books and having them thrashed when I come back 10 minutes later!"
So this conversation continues in pretty much the same grain me alternately pissing and moaning about my maintenance area and threatening to scream at the patrons if I catch them anywhere near the place.
Its later, I'm shelving (a rhythmically laborious job that has a pleasing Zen quality to it), when I hear all this noise. Now before we get a head of ourselves, YES the library is LOUD...very, very loud, but this is a loud like I've never heard before.
First, this loud seems like it isn't trying to be loud.
Second, it is a totally incomprehensible loud. Grunting loud. I peek around the corner and spy 4 big hulking (yes, "Neanderthal") guys, grunting and hooting to one another as they head into my maintenance area.
I am stunned. Could this be possible? They dare to come back to MY area and attempt to destroy it again? After I picked up after them from before? Is my coworker nuts? Beat him up, eat him up is more like it.
I am horrified. I am furious. I am...speechless? Speechless.
For those of you who don't know me your probably saying something like, "So what? Those guys are HUGE! You are showing the best judgment by staying far away from them."
But those who do know me are probably shocked and amused. "What TV don't have anything to say to those guys? TV is scared of those guys? TV you are such a wuss!
Oh you betcha.
My eyes are bugging out of my head. I am waiting for them to start clacking coconut shells and bones together to punctuate their parrot squawk staccato. Books are flying out into the aisle. Other patrons are running in the opposite direction. I turn and see The Librarian crouching down behind his computer just hoping that these guys don't head in his direction. All eyes in a 10 block radius are staring at these guys except the resident pervert who is leaning over trying to look under the table and up the skirt of the petrified young Asian woman who is sitting across from him. In the moment I find myself envying his ability to ignore the chaos in the 741's.
My hands start to sweat. They start to ache. You have no idea how tiring it is to play with books all day.
And, as suddenly as they appeared, the elevator closes on their squeals and the building sighs with relief.
I grab my cart and start over to clean up the mess while the left front wheel wiggles and squeaks.
Sorry it's so long. I'll try to be less long winded next time.
Just a quick shout out to my motley crew Malfouka, Gordo and Big Daddy Love.